My Week in Emails.

Subject line art? I'm over it.

A couple of weeks ago I looked at brands putting cute stars and hearts in their subject lines. Sure, it was a cheap shot at getting noticed, but they worked a treat. Well, check out this disaster from Photobox. You know when someone arrives a bit late to a trend, fluffs it completely and it's 'totes cringe'? Our 'question mark, question mark, question mark sale?' Dude, subject line art is like, so over.

Hey BT Vision, you don't know me!

Hi Lauren! We know you're 23 and female. So what must you love? Twilight! Animals! Sob stories! Cooking! Holly Willoughby! Oh, do p**s off. I've been profiled within an inch of my life, targeted with rubbish and frankly, it's all a bit offensive.

Some of our more senior bods report being bombarded with charity DM as soon as they hit their 50th birthday. And guess what? They aren't happy with being shoved into the Dorothy Donor camp. We need to send the right stuff to the right people, without making them feel as though we've made stereotypical assumptions. See the email here

I don't want to Love, Layer and Laugh. Got it?

This is the perfect demonstration of too many emails, too often. Three emails in five days is a bit much as it is, but with the same subject line and headline? Boring and irritating. "Love. Laugh. Layer." is a rubbish line anyway. Why would clothes make me laugh? And layering? Abercrombie, you clever devils. Why buy one £80 hoodie when you can buy three and wear them all at once? You can see all the emails below, if you can be bothered.

Boring

Go away

Yawn

Less is definitely more.

I've noticed a bit of a trend with John Lewis emails recently. The subject lines are short and intriguing. They're not pushy or personalised. Just three words to whet the appetite. The latest one simply suggests I 'Deck the halls.' That's it. The one before told me to 'Prepare to party'. And who wouldn't want to see their social calender 'ignite'? The word 'opulent' is dropped in confidently, because John Lewis customers are totally sophisticated and elegant and use words like this in conversation ALL the time. At dinner parties. Dinner parties where the wine matches the food, and not just because it was £4.99 a bottle. Check out the email here

Lauren Took